Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
