ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
