don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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