I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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