I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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