He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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