I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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