My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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