When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I touched a dick in church today
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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