And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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