Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
