yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
