Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
