Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
