Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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