Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.