I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.