....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
