Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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