its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
tell me about the eggs
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
