just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
