margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
