Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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