yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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