yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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