yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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