if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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