the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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