After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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