I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
