Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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