i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
