before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
