Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
