I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
