i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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