You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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