her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
