first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
