I just threw up on my dentist
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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