Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
