you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
