508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
