Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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