I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
