get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
