he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
