If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
porn star boner night. come get it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
