i was rollin on her like bob the builder
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
