He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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