So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
