New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
