I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
