She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
