I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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