The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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