apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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