the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
