Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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