I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
