I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize