We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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