So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
