GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
