he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
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Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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