Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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